Pea interviews Tina, a college student who became a live-in maid to pay her tuition. Tina describes going from an abusive 5am-to-8pm job with a Chinese family to a far better position with a 60-something Australian, who eventually offered to double her pay for a private relationship. Pea uses the story to explain why some Filipino men tolerate their partners sleeping with other men for money.
Who Tina is and how she became a maid
- Has been a maid a little over 2 years
- She was studying to become a teacher and ran out of money for tuition before graduating, so she had to work. She hasn't finished school yet
- No family or friends could lend her money. Her boyfriend offered to help, but she knew he couldn't afford it
- Tried for retail jobs and didn't get in
- Posted on Facebook job-finding pages and on her "My Day" stories saying she could work flexible hours. The maid offer came through that, and she grabbed it because she needed the money
First job: a Chinese family
- Husband, wife, and two kids, an 11-year-old girl and a 6-year-old ("it's a hustle")
- Pay: only 8,000 pesos a month
- Duties: everything in housekeeping. Cooking meals, cleaning, washing dishes, plus caring for the kids
- Tina calls it "horrible":
- Worked 5:00 a.m. to 8:00 p.m., starting early to get the kids ready for school at 6 or 7
- The wife got up at 5am too and always took Tina's phone, so she couldn't call friends or family while working. The phone came back only after 8pm
- No bed. She slept in a storage room where the family kept things they no longer used, on a very thin mat
- Sometimes no day off at all
Second job: the Australian
- A friend told her a foreign man in her barangay wanted to hire a maid
- Tina had to beg her Chinese employer for a Saturday off just to go to the interview
- He bought her lunch at the interview, which shocked her because he was so nice
- Same duties as before (cooking, cleaning, dishes, laundry), plus he asked if she could massage because his legs were always sore
- Pea: "Oh no, not the leg trick again. Of course his legs are so sore. Especially the middle one"
- Pay: 10,000 pesos a month, plus he bought all her personal necessities like shampoo and soap. He didn't take her phone either
- It was a live-in job. She said yes immediately and started one week after the interview, giving the Chinese family a week's notice (she admits she wished she could have started right away)
- Better than she expected:
- On day one he insisted on cooking and gave her a crash course on his kitchen gadgets and a fancy new washing machine with lots of buttons. She was scared to break anything because she couldn't afford to replace it
- Pea notes Filipinos often aren't familiar with the kitchen gadgets foreigners own, so a walkthrough is the best way to do it
- Her own big air-conditioned bedroom with a TV that has Netflix
- Hours 9:00 a.m. to 5:00 p.m. with a consistent Saturday off. Pea calls it "very humane"
- Tina: "I can't even imagine how lucky I am"
- Tina found him attractive: over 60, but with a great smile and a confidence she found sexy. Pea agrees confidence is sexy to any woman
Her boyfriend's reaction to the job
- He wasn't happy she was working for a sexy foreign man, but he knew she needed the money
- Beyond tuition, Tina gives any extra money to her family
The boss's behavior starts to change
- Over time the way he looked at her changed
- When he knew she'd just gotten out of the shower, he would open her bedroom door without knocking, as if hoping to catch her naked. She was already dressed, and he'd say he forgot to tell her something. Pea: "Maybe he just wants a free peek"
- During massages he used to cover himself with a towel. Then he switched to a thin sheet, and Tina could tell "a certain part of his body" was enjoying the massage
- Pea: "I knew it. It was the third leg"
- At first Tina pretended not to notice and stayed focused because she needed the money. They didn't talk about it for a while
The proposition
- After a few months he told her they could be a couple in private, with only the two of them knowing, while she kept working there
- He offered to double her paycheck and do "nice things" for her so both of them could be happy
- He gave her time to think about it
- Tina admits she really needed the money, and she also found the idea of sex with her employer "kind of exciting." Pea points out that means Tina secretly liked him too
Pea's cultural explanation
- "This might blow your mind," but in the Philippines some husbands and boyfriends are okay with it, or look the other way, when their wives or girlfriends do something to earn money to support their families or put themselves through school, even if that means sleeping with another man
- She acknowledges it's morally unacceptable to most of her Western viewers. She's not judging, and stresses it's not all Filipino men, just some
Telling the boyfriend
- Tina told him. He went quiet and she thought he'd break up with her
- After a few moments he said: "Do whatever you want. Just don't tell me about it again." Pea: "Don't ask, don't tell"
- Tina was really surprised he basically gave permission
The arrangement
- She said yes. They have sex a lot, and she still does the housework
- She never talks to her boyfriend about it, but gives him plenty of attention "in that department" to make up for it
- The boss now gives her the whole weekend off, one day for her family and one day for her boyfriend, "so that everyone's happy." Pea: "Kumbaya"
How common is this?
- Tina is positive many other maids do more than cook and clean, because good money and a cute boss are "just too tempting"
- Pea: "If the money's good and your boss is cute, why not?"
- Pea says she personally knows several other women with this kind of arrangement with their bosses. "It totally happens here in the Philippines"
- Reiterates she's not there to judge, just to hear the story, and thanks Tina for trusting her
Outro
- Princess Leia bit: she lives "in a galaxy far, far away" but has important diplomatic information about the Philippines you'll want before you visit. "Don't be a scrappy-looking nerf herder"
- Plugs thumbs up, subscribe, notification bell, and Patreon daily chat
- Ends with a gag: "Not again. That's the third time today. I'm amazed I can still walk"
